Reflections from a Healer Whose Husband has Parkinson’s

Below are reflections written by a 
a woman whose husband has
Parkinson’s:      

“As the middle of July approaches
I am intensely aware that almost
1 year ago my husband was diagnosed
with Parkinson’s Disease.  I reflect
back on this deeply emotional year
and am actually surprised at some
of our learning and growth plus
the continuous challenges.  And
interestingly, I am also aware
of a new sense of joy and intimacy
in our relationship.” 

“But our year didn’t begin that way. 
I go to a school of healing.  One
that teaches that energy follows
thought and physical illness may
be a result of our beliefs.  Through
our physical illnesses we have an
opportunity to heal ourselves in
the areas of our lives where we
have previously been stuck or have
held unconscious negative thoughts
about ourselves and our lives.” 

“SO, I was very aware that in my
school the line of thought may be,
‘What is it your husband needs to
learn from having Parkinson’s?’ and
indeed a classmate did ask me that,
although in a very loving and concerned
way.” 

“I had read the book by Louise Hay,
‘You Can Heal Your Life’ where she
correlates probable causes of PD to
fear and an intense desire to control
everything and everyone. Another author,
Karol Truman, adds to this with
several more possibilities:
lack of inner communication, fear of
not being able to control and not
understanding a fear you have which
stops you from believing in what
you do and say.” 

“I gently asked my husband if any of
these feelings or beliefs resonated
for him but nothing did at the time. 
As an outside observer, I was wondering
about the possibility of the lack of
communication with his inner or real
self.”

“As the year unfolded, a big struggle
for my husband was what to say when
people talked to him about Parkinson’s
Disease.  Someone once said to him
very sincerely, ‘I’m sorry about your
diagnosis’ and my husband’s response
was to laugh.” 

“I discussed this with him and suggested
that laughing may have been a way not
to feel a deeper emotion.  We also
talked about how his response to illness
is an opportunity to teach others and
help them to connect with their own
vulnerabilities, insecurities and
feelings about illness.” 

“The other day we were invited to a
party and my husband was nervous that
Parkinson’s would be discussed.  We
decided to do some role playing to help
him come up with some responses.” 

“I said to him (as someone previously did
to me), ‘You know, people with Parkinson’s
don’t have the tremor when they sleep.’ 
He replied, ‘Oh, have you slept with
someone with Parkinson’s?’   I burst
out laughing. Yes, that would be a
good response to that.” 

“Then I asked him what his plans were
for the future now that he had Parkinson’s
and he burst out laughing.  ‘I’m sorry’,
he replied. ‘It’s just too serious a
question not to laugh.” 

“Then I got a little tougher.  I said,
‘I’m sorry about your diagnosis’ and
he very quietly and gently said, ‘I’m
sorry too.” 

Robert Rodgers, Ph.D.
Parkinsons Recovery

© 2008 Parkinsons Recovery

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2 thoughts on “Reflections from a Healer Whose Husband has Parkinson’s

  1. I don’t mean to sound like a naysayer, but upon reading this I couldn’t help but wonder if you are not trying to control him?

  2. The free flow of honest communication can be scared for some because it’s not always controllable and not always what someone else wants to hear. Your husbands laughter could be a way to deflect the normal free flow and depth of such a conversation. Even emotions are things that some work hard at controlling or suppressing. This is true for a lot of men.

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